I turned 31 today.
Pretty mental when I think back to 10 years ago when I made my first documentary about a surfing trip to Indonesia and screened it to friends at a birthday event I created with a bunch of bands. One of my best friends worked on the release with me and ironically, we are still working together now, both self employed and both creating pieces of work we’re still as proud of.
I’ve been extremely fortunate over the last 10 years to see and do a lot of things. However what I will say is that these things came from hard work and self-belief. Tonight I went for a surf at the spot pictured and scored some great waves. However between the waves I got a few brief moments to just sit and have a think about everything. A huge cloud front moved in over St. Ives and was hammering it with rain. The water was like glass; warm with some nicely sized waves rolling in. I’ve grown up around this beach learning about the sea and just enjoying it for what it offers. I remember heading into the water when I was 9. I remember burying a small R2D2 model in the sand and being mortified when I never managed to find it again. I remember my grandad sitting in his silver car up in the car park with his flat cap, watching birds with his binoculars. My mind kinda skimmed over everything I’ve been through over the last 10 years till now, and only one thing stung me a bit. That was the fact that over my life I have at times given far too much time to people who simply really did not deserve it.
I mean this not in a way where I’m being bitter and angry, but more in a way where I regret not having more guts to just cut them off. Cutting off people is a hard and often risky business if all the facts haven’t been looked at. I’m a person that believes in fixing problems, but sometimes in life you have to realise that some people do not think or act the same way. They don’t want to fix the situation, and they might be too cowardly to admit that to you. I’m dropping a pearl of wisdom to you all here and saying that no matter what age you are; please do not waste your time on people who don’t readily make you feel good without some sort of ‘reason’ other than ‘they think you’re the bees knees’. Sometimes people act poorly because they don’t know better, or sometimes they do it just because they are assholes. Whichever the reason, your life is richer with the right people in it. You have within your hands the power to achieve great things, but at the same time, you can also create terrible things. The feelings which associate themselves with ‘the terrible’ often are, pain, loneliness, depression, heartache, sadness, self-pity. You must under all circumstances avoid these feelings. We need to feel them at times but they can be poisons which become addictive in the most screwed up of ways.
Some of you have been on this blog for a while with me, while others are new, but I write everything I do on here with the same goal in mind; to help spread a little knowledge. In short; please do not replace the steel of who you are with attempts to win over people who do not want to be won over. Some people just don’t know the good from the bad, and some people PREFER the bad to the good. How? Why? We will never really know. The answers we seek to these questions sometimes just don’t even exist. That is something I’ve had to learn lately. Sometimes there are no answers and sometimes you have to just say ‘oh fuck off’. I set high standards in everything I do in my life, I aim to be ‘the best’ and this also is in my relationships. Expectations are dangerous things so learn to take it easy with them. But at the same time, set a standard for living, and be electrified by that.
I have an ability to write to you all in whatever capacity I want, and although the most part of this blog is about my work and how I go about it; there is a large section of this blog which is dedicated to me trying to be a distant friend you’ve never met. I want to live my life inspiring others and offering help and assistance wherever I can, and that is part of my fibre. So if you read this and you feel a little stronger or a little wiser, my work here on this occasion is done (but it’s never quite that easy). But in the grand scheme of things, I rode some waves tonight, I chilled out, and I came to the conclusion that my mission in life is to FUCKING WIN at it. I am on a journey to be someone that inspires thousands of people (if not more). On that path there’s some potholes; so while I’m climbing out of one I’ve been in for the last 6 months, I’m chucking a small step ladder your way so you can carry it on your person. Then the next hole you fall down you might be able to scramble out of it a bit quicker.
Ryan Mackfall. 31 years old (still feeling like a 25 year old). Another 12 months to expand and grow. See you out there friends.